Rating: PG-13
Characters: Maximus
Pairing: None
Disclaimer: I do not have any affiliation with the rightful owners, nor their work.

All I Can Remember Is Rome


I touch the dust reverently. I do it to remember. Remember that I am just of the dust, and just of the air. Only a man. Not a hero. The gods have shown me this-- and they will again.

So I sift the dust in my fingers, feeling the grit. Remembering. W ho I am. Who I was. Who I need to be.

Emperor. I think on that, letting the last of the earth slip from my hand. Marcus Arelius would have had me as Emperor. I shake my head slightly closing my tired eyes as I opened my palm. No. That was a long time ago. I am sure the Empire has forgotten me, now.
I have not forgotten her. I have not forgotten Rome.

I kneel, spreading the pile of earth back to its rightful place. With the rest. I should be with the rest of mine. My fingers brush over the pouch were they rest-- my memories. I have not forgotten them.
My family.

I remember too many things, I think. I find myself pushing back my urge to give a heavy sigh. The gods are not done with me, yet. Vainly, I wish they were.

I wished only to hold them again, my family. That all else is this dust that coats my hands. My calloused palms, my roughened fingers. I would that they see me, now. That I call to them. I knew Commodus lied to me. My wife, my son. My life. He had to have. My son, so brave, so strong in his innocence. My wife, my beautiful, so very courageous wife. These were not the victims of the son of my Emperor. The Emperor of Rome would not have done this to his faithful servant.

I will remember, I know, because I always do, whether I would wish to or naught. I would remember what Commodus has done to the innocent.
My prayers would be heard. The gods would not forget me.

I remember too much in my life. Too much, when all I wished to remember was how they looked when they slept. I wished I could remember their laughter, their voices. Yet, all I can remember is Rome. The throng of the market crowd. The laughter of children in the streets at dusk . The Senate, their old weathered faces making the Republic strong. This was Rome, and I a servant.

All I can remember is Rome.


--Ruse